And so it begins...

I think the story of where I am today becomes so much sweeter when a little history is known (I'll try to keep it interesting!). I was born and raised here in Austin, and the older I get, the more in love with her I become.

I am also in love with a country I have never been to: Ireland. I am an Irish dancer (yes, like Riverdance), am teaching myself the Irish language (Erin go braugh!), and just an all around Ireland enthusist. I am an avid Irish history and culture buff, and, after the idea of becoming a comedy writer/improv comic became too real and intimidating and died, I fell in love studying Irish media of the 20th century. For my international communications class, I created a trailer DVD with examples of Irish media from 1922 until 2000, and paper on the topic of "Ireland's national identity reflected in 20th century media through poverty, the European Union, and civil war". A mouthful, I know. But I felt a real calling toward studying media of Ireland, and possibly working in Ireland with various media mediums.

It's no surprise then that I fell in love with the great rock band U2. I love them. And that is an understatement. To quote Woody Allen in "Annie Hall", I lurve them, I luff them. As my friends know, I don't care if you like U2, you just have to respect they've had a lot of hit songs, and have been around a long time, and you have to respect that they mean so much to me. Next to The Beatles, no band has influenced my life as much as U2. And my room is a testamony to that: I have pictures and posters all over (most of them gifts), a signed October album (also a gift), a poster from my floor seat concert back in October 2005, next to the pictures I took there, and books, magazines, and vinyl albums strung around my apartment room. I love my room, along with all the U2, having purple christmas lights dangling above my bed (it's like sleeping under stars!), pictures of my family and friends, and the warmth my room radiates is very comforting, especially in times of stress.

Last winter I decided to go for a Rotary Club scholarship for college students who want to study abroad on international topics. It is called the Ambassador Scholarship, and I thought that my undergrad thesis work would be perfect to present to attempt to study abroad in Ireland, particularly Dublin, in hopes of gaining access to furthering my paper and possibly getting published by the time I graduated.

Oh...I didn't mention why I wanted to get published...

Since I was a sophomore of high school I had felt this tugging at my heart that something in religion just wasn't adding up. Not that it was fake or fabricated, but more like maybe there were so many more questions than there were answers.

My grandparents on my mom's side, and really my whole mom's side of the family, are intense Southern Baptists. My grandpa was a Southern Baptist preacher, and I was always the black sheep of the family. I still am, I'm now more proud about that. Actually the four of us in my family (mom, dad, my bro, and me), are the odd ones out at every family reunion, and I think we realize now we wouldn't have it any other way.

But with God, I began to struggle. I felt I wanted to know more, but not from religious institutions. I wanted to hear from people who were searchers as well, not people vomitting answers. I wanted to know what the Bible really said, not what was told to me in rose colored glasses who wanted me to prescribe to their creeds, sign cards that promise things I may not want to keep, wearing my heart on my sleeve in hopes of people asking me what it means. I wanted to know facts and logically wrap my head around what it truly meant to be a Christian.

I decided I wanted to go to Harvard, Yale or Vanderbilt Divinity schools. I liked them because they were the best in their fields at studying Christianity without thinking "maybe this is too controversial to teach?" I remember telling a friend of mine from chuch, who also wanted to go to a divinity school, that I was thinking about Vanderbilt. He literally backed away, and said, "You know God doesn't live there. It's too liberal." That was the moment I knew I was on the right path.

But in order to get into such an exclusive ivy league community, I would have to get published or at least make incredible grades...and maybe both.

I applied for this scholarship, and thought for sure that I would be a strong candidate, seeing my grades, essays, outside activities, and my general passion for Ireland. Long story short, I didn't get it because, to quote the judges, I wasn't "mature enough". It hurt. It didn't say I was not qualified enough, it was gabbing at my character. I licked my wounds, told myself over and over it wasn't meant to be, and wanted to be in Dublin even more...

love.ly

The Beginning

Hello all! I am beginning this blog because my life has literally been changed by 'the secret' and Assaf's talk, and it has been an amazing three months since!!! I want to share my long, amazing story in hopes of inspiring other people to go for what they really believe in! Since the story is so long I'll be putting it in pieces semi-regularly. Hope you join me!
love.ly